The RedMist Guide to Car Acronyms….

AUDI:

• Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
• Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
• Automobile Under Demonic Influence
• Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
• Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
• Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
• All Unnecessary Devices Installed

BMW:

• Big Money Works
• Bought My Wife
• Brutal Money Waster
• Break My Window
• Break My Windshield
• Babbling Mechanical Wench
• Beastly Monstrous Wonder
• Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
• Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
• Barely Moving Wreck
• Big Man’s Willie
• Big Money Waste
• Big Money. Why?
• Big Money Works
• Born Moderately Wealthy
• Breaks Most Wrenches
• Bring Many Wrenches
• Brings Me Women
• Brings More Women
• Broken Money Waster
• Broke My Wallet
• Broken Monstrous Wonder
• Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
• Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
• Bavarian Muck Wagon

FIAT:

• Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
• Fix It Again, Tony
• Fix It Again, Tomorrow
• Fix It All the Time
• Found In A Toilet
• Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation

FORD:

• Frigin’ Old Rebuilt Dodge
• Fix Or Repair Daily
• Found On Road Dead
• Found On Road Dumped
• Fast Only Rolling Downhill
• First On Race Day
• First On Recall Day
• Fabricated Of Refried Dung
• Fails On Rainy Days
• Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
• Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
• Fault Of R&D
• Finally Obsolete Racing Device
• Fireball On Rear Denting
• First On Road to Dump
• First On Rust and Deterioration
• Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
• Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
• Foot On Road Decelerates
• Forced On Reluctant Drivers
• Formed Of Rejected DNA
• Forwarded Once; Return Denied
• Forward Only; Reverse Defective
• Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
• Fork Over Repair Dough
• Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
• Free Or Reduced Drastically
• Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
• Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
• Funny Old Rattling Dump
• Found Out-Right Dangerous
• Future Of Racings Delight

GM:

• General Maintenance
• Great Mistake
• Garbage Motors
• Generally Miserable
• Grossly Misconceived
• Gluteus Maximus
• Good Money
• Goofy’s Manufacturing
• Gone Mental

HONDA:

• Honest Officer, Nobody Drank Anything
• Had One Never Did Again
• Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
• Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
• Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles
• History Of No Dramatic Acceleration
• How Odd, No Darn Acceleration?
• PRELUDE: Pistons Rattle, Engine Locks Up, Differential Explodes

HYUNDAI:

• Hope You Understand Nothing’s Driveable And Inexpensive…

JEEP:

• Just Eats Every Part
• Just Empty Every Pocket
• Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
• Jumps Extremely Excitedly over Potholes
• Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts

KIA:

• Kick It Around
• Kick It Again
• Killed In Action

LOTUS:

• Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious

MAZDA:

• Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

MG:

• Money Guzzler
• Mostly Garaged
• Major Goof
• MGB: Might Go Backwards
• MGB: Might Go, But . . .
• MGB: Motor Going Bad
• MGF: Might Go Forward

PORSCHE:

• Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
• Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough

SAAB:

• Send Another Automobile Back
• Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
• Sad Attempt At Beauty
• Sorry Auto, Always Broken
• Shape Appears Ass-Backwards

SUBARU:

• Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually

TOYOTA:

• Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
• Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
• The One You Ought To Avoid

TRIUMPH:

• This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
• Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!

TR:

• Tools Required

VOLVO:

• Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW:

• Vintage Wreck
• Virtually Worthless