Rally Dictionary

Well, its’ back – the infamous Red Mist Rally Dictionary……..

The list is not complete. If there is any addition to be made, let us know.

• A
  • all-nighter n. usually occurs before the rally, repairing the damage from the last one
  • alloy n. material used to triple the price of car parts
  • autotest n. an organised event designed to test use of the handbrake
• B
  • B16 n. 1. Something to do with a Honda lawnmower 2. The greatest engine ever made
  • black ice n. See moment, stack
  • box n. slang for …
  • bridge n. pace note instruction warning of potential yump or bump. See moment
  • bump stop n. small rubber object designed to protect McPherson strut valves and fuel lines
• C
  • catch v.t. to survive a moment, as in `I caught the first three’
  • cattle grid n. See moment
  • caution n. a particularly fine yump the rally organisers have taken pains to point out
  • car accountability n. sweeps up afterwards
  • Civic adj. Related to the duties of a municipal area, town
  • chase car n. car full of spanner men who fix the cars after the stages, now banned (boo hoo)
  • Clerk of the Course (COC) n. Man who thinks he is in charge of the rally
  • clue n. navigational rally route instruction, as in “I haven’t got a clue what this means”
  • Cossie n. rally prepared Ford Escort or Sierra RS Cosworth. Opposite of scrapper in every sense
  • crest n. the top of a hill, usually taken “Flat”
  • cross roads n. too many options!
• D
  • Deputy COC n. man who actually is in charge of the rally
  • dipstick n. 1. some oily thing in the engine 2. see Driver
  • ditch v.t. to parallel park a car unexpectedly during a rally
  • ditch n. edge of the road, with an affinity to attract rally cars
  • driver n. incompetent person holding steering wheel
  • dongle shaft n. the “real” reason for the retirement. See excuse. Takes the form “The dongle shaft in the box broke”
  • doughnut n. novel means of ploughing grass with a rear wheel drive car
• E
  • escort n. company you can rent for, well, you know.
  • electrical trouble v.t.  Con-rod through the alternator, see excuse
  • excuse n. means to explain poor result in rally, or ditching or similar manouevres. Typically getting more outlandish as the Smithwicks consumption increases.
• F
  • fade v.i. what brakes do when they overheat. See moment
  • farmer n. 1. Nice man with tractor pulling your car out of the ditch 2. Angry owner of the fence you just totalled
  • farmyard n. cobbled area not on the rally route, often strewn with mud and cow dung. See moment
  • Felt Spec n. Clapped out VW Jetta diesel with the pump turned up to 11. Lowered by quarter tonne of ration in the boot.
  • flat n. stage rally instruction, meaning “Keep your right foot flat on the floor” Usually screamed just before “moment”
  • ford n. mid-rally car wash
  • four wheel drift n. simultaneous understeer and oversteer
• G
  • Green Book n. a baroque comedic work in the style of Lear poetry published by Motorsport Ireland
  • grip n. See Yokohama, but lacking on the headquarter floor due to the spilt Smithwicks
• H
  • hairpin n. Corner much tighter than a square
  • handbrake 1. n. Direction changing lever found between the front seats, but not on Citroen, Saab or Alfa Romeo cars 2. v.t. To make use of the handbrake
  • hang on n. instruction to navigator
  • harness n. go-faster seat belt
  • headquarters n. biggest pub in town
  • hedge n. Follows hairpin, handbrake, hang-on
  • herringbone n. form of navigation clue, usually works on the organisers’ kitchen table but not in your car
  • hooking n. 1. making use of the ditch to assist cornering. 2. gone fishing
• I
  • icing n. what happens to carburettors in cold weather. See excuse
  • insurance n. overpriced piece of paper
• J
  • jugs n. Weber DCOE or similar carburettors fitted to cars which club members can’t afford (or can’t afford to run)
• K
  • K-right n. road reading instruction used by poncy navigators, meaning corner of between 30 and 60 degrees, depending on the navigator’s handwriting
  • Ka n. Small Ford car beloved by Grannies, handles well. lacks power
  • knobblies n. pair of knees
• L
  • left n. often confused with right.
  • lift v.i. a driving technique for chickens
  • limo n. a large, luxury vehicle
  • lose v.t. 1. opposite of catch. See moment, excuse 2. What club crews in Fiestas do to Cossies (maybe a fantasy !).
  • LSD abbrev. An illegal drug
  • lump hammer n. precision adjusting tool
• M
  • marshal n. cold masochist
  • masochist n. someone lacking a sense of self preservation. See marshal, navigator
  • Mintex n. a means to prevent fade
  • minute n. over-optimistic time by which you try to reach the next time control
  • moment n. an incident during which the driver has even less control of the car than usual. The name derives from the duration of the incident in the navigator’s reference frame; in the driver’s reference frame it lasts several minutes. See “The Principle of Relativity” by A. Einstein.
  • Motorsport Ireland (MI) n. The guys who set the rules for rallying in Ireland, and take pleasure in setting unworkable rules.
• N
  • National B n. hooligan’s certificate
  • navigator n. incompetent person clutching pace notes
  • Non-Expert n. exactly
  • Novice n. class of night navigation competitor provided with easy clues to give the Non-Experts someone to follow.
• O
  • off n. unplanned departure from the road. See ditch
  • oncoming n. traffic flow of inconsiderate local residents and Ford Fiesta’s driving the opposite way to night navigation route
  • opening ceremony n. the start of the drinking, sorry, rally
  • OTL abbrev. Too Bloody Late
  • oversteer n. a state in which the car tries to ditch itself on the inside of a corner
• P
  • pace car n. large vehicle, usually white, sporting extremely tacky go-faster stripes, multifarious flashing lights and driven by dour faced gentlemen in navy blue suits
  • pace notes n. book that contains descriptions of the road. Usually dumped at the first service.
  • panic n. standard navigational technique
  • passage control n. NOT the 99 reg. Corolla with the steamy windows
  • pendulum n. poser’s cornering technique
  • Pirelli n. More expensive Yokohama’s
  • pirouette n. “handling” characteristic of rear-engined vehicles. See moment
  • porta-power n. hydraulically operated precision adjusting tool for large jobs
  • poti n. Night navigation trial’s navigator’s essential equipment for fast sections. Typically too small for use after a major “moment”
  • PR problem n. Anal-retentive resident of a remote village
• Q
  • Quality n. Something no rally car has!
• R
  • rally car n. See scrapper
  • rally fan n. drives faster than the rally cars. Thinks he or she has a God given talent, superior to the WRC drivers. Has all the stickers to prove it
  • rally route n. a series of roads marked with dead rabbits, black lines & ditched rally cars
  • red line n. point on the tachometer below which the needle should not be allowed to drop
  • red mist n. a reason to make the car go faster. See ditch
  • recce n. time for crews to cheat.
  • regulations n. the rules for the rally. Understood by lawyers only
  • right n. often confused with left.
  • road reading n. prediciting the road ahead from assorted squiggles on the map, something the navigator often stops doing at inconvenient times. See moment
  • rocket fuel n. a half and half mixture of unleaded and super unleaded petrol
  • ro(a)mer n. a bit of plastic kicking around the floor of the car
  • road book n. comic book distributed by the rally organisers
• S
  • scrapper n. a motor car in a similar condition to those found in “automotive recycling” yards; a typical motor club vehicle
  • Sequential adj. One after the other, the way that one sheep follows the other
  • sheep n. game pie target for a larger car
  • single track n. a type of road not wide enough for a car and a tractor to pass side by side. See moment
  • skid marks n. a series of streaks which can be used to judge the quality of a moment, if the driver can be persuaded to part with his or her underwear.
  • spanner men n. blokes who fix the cars, and understand terms like socket set, etc
  • speed bump n. bump not felt at 30mph in recce, but becomes obvious at 110mph on stage.
  • sponsor n. Person who pays the bill for the rally organisers. Typically has the driving talent of a turnip.
  • square n. a corner the shape of a right-angle. See moment
  • steward n. person appointed by MI to see that all the rules are obeyed. Typically spends all day trying to find out what is going on in the rally, with nobody telling him.
  • straight line v.t. to take the “racing line” through a roundabout
  • sturgeon n. a species of fish prized for its stomach calming properties
  • sulk v.i. See navigator
• T
  • tantrum n. See driver
  • tightens adj. navigator’s euphemism. See moment
  • time control/TC n. place where the navigator haggles with a marshal for a minute
  • toe down adj. proper driving style
  • twin cam n. type of engine configuration, understood by experts only and spouted by rally fans
• U
  • understeer n. a state in which the car tries to ditch itself on the outside of a corner
• V
  • video camera n. jinx
• W
  • white n. 1. proper, unsurfaced rally road 2. colour of navigators face after stage
  • wimps n. people who suffer from common sense while driving a car
  • WRC abbrev. World Rally Championship. Where the cars are more expensive than a castle!
  • work v.i. something done after the rally, somehow generating the funds needed
• X
  • X-roads n. shorthand for crossroads
• Y
  • yellow n. tarmac rally road
  • Yokohama n. a Japanese company which manufactures ingenious transfers used to apply rubber to tarmac
  • yump 1. n. a crest on a road specially designed to separate the car’s wheels from the ground 2. v.t. to drive a car spiritedly across a yump
• Z
  • Z-bends n. pl. a series of consecutive moments

The list is a gathering of my own musings, overheard conversations and collected funnies. If there is any more, drop us a line